The beginning of the end.

November 2012… Have you ever thought to yourself, ‘is this really how it’s meant to be?’Is this how other people feel?’ ‘Is he really THE one?’ God please no he can’t really be the one. 

And somehow you find yourself comparing your life to movies. Because heck! you know your friends have gotta be stretching the truth on their perfect little relationship. And before you know it, you’re standing on stage with the stupid little square hat and a degree in your hand wondering how on earth you ended up here. Not to mention your aspirations and goals now have nothing to do with your degree!

And then maybe you’ll look at your partner, and all the things that use to seem so god damn cute, will now uplift every nail. You’ll find yourself staring at them with such a disgusted look on your face, and suddenly you snap out of the stare, and think Jesus when did I become such a bitch.

When did life become so cold?

So you search and reach for something, anything that will bring life back into life. Looking for a bandaid to cover the scar for a while, pretending that it’s just a cut healing. And you’ll notice your friends will start having babies, they start getting hitched and buying houses and pets. And you hope to dear god that its an action full of love and its not another bandaid. Another god damn bandaid.

I fell for the bandaid, and I booked a trip with that guy; the bandaid guy… I booked the trip after almost 2 years together, I booked it 6 months in advance, 5 months before my 21st birthday and two days prior to takeoff, the bandaid fell off. He yelled and I cried, and we broke up. And two days later we still went on the god damn bandaid trip, a two month trip where he tried to buy my love back or scare me back into the place I was slowly climbing out from.

And you don’t realise it at the time, but it’s the beginning of the end, and all ends lead to new beginnings, and somehow you get incredible lost on that journey, but I assure you, its still the path that will get you to a new beginning. And thats all you need to know. So lets start this story in November 2012.